


flower petals

by 17s_chan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: "hipster" hansol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Crying, Flowers, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Starbucks, i'm sorry seungkwan, lapslock, writer hansol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:54:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17s_chan/pseuds/17s_chan
Summary: a classic friends to lovers au.— ornot.





	1. Chapter 1

_act 1_

 

_ scene: an american suburb _

_characters in order of appearance:_ _hansol vernon chwe, boo seungkwan_

 

 

hansol sat on the edge of his friend's childhood bed and looked around. this was the place they built huge forts out of his mom's good sheets and comforters. she was _so_ angry at the pair when they accidentally spilled dr. pepper all over her favorite throw pillow... and when they accidentally-on-purpose had chan pee the bed with the ol' warm water trick... and when soonyoung came over for the first time, then had a nosebleed while sleeping and ruined a hand-knitted blanket. he chuckled reminiscently at the memories passing through his head. so many little things he would never forget, no matter how old he got, or how far away from it all he was.

today was the day. hansol was saying goodbye, or maybe it was the other way around. both of the nineteen year olds would be heading off to college, each on the other side of the country. hansol'd be heading off to columbia university in new york city, while his longtime friend, boo seungkwan, would be leaving for the california institute of the arts.

 

"speak of the devil," hansol muttered. he straightened his fedora and pushed up his glasses as seungkwan floated into his room.

 

hansol sighed with a twinkle of pure longing in his eyes. seungkwan always had an airy aura to him, but seeing it for possibly the last time killed him.

 

"i love that my mom just let you in," seungkwan laughed, "considering we haven't seen each other since last july."

 

(it was august of the year after they'd last seen each other. nice job, hansol.)

 

"well, gap years don't travel for you. why'd you take one, anyway?" hansol asked. he'd taken his so he could see the world before being seen as a true adult — or, that was his excuse when asked by certain people. 

 

sure, it was true to some extent, but the real reason was so that he could understand himself more. it sounded stupid, but clubbing in a country he couldn't be bothered to remember the name of finally confirmed something he was avoiding for so long, something he couldn't do anything about.

basically, one night, hansol met someone. they clicked, they had the faintest of a spark between them. so the man took him back to his apartment, and, uh, some things are better left unsaid. they dated for five out of the twelve months he was away from america. (the other seven he spent backpacking and missing his ex.) 

long story short, hansol's gay. he really knew towards the end of eighth grade, but he'd been denying it until the moment he met his ex. he denied it because of his shockingly secret infatuation with none other than boo seungkwan. a classic friends to lovers story!

seungkwan'd been blabbering about something. the last thing hansol heard was about his potential roommate, so he just smiled and nodded along.

 

seungkwan smiled, "you didn't hear a word i said, did you? off in that pretty head of yours?"

 

hansol took a quick breath. he mumbled a short 'sorry' and tugged on his sleeves anxiously.

 

"are you alright, sollie? you seem kind of... off," seungkwan commented and crossed his arms. "is everything okay?"

 

hansol, unsure of what to say, bit his lip and furrowed his brows in thought. he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped in hesitation. how do you tell someone you love and trust with all your heart something so serious? it should be easy. right? seungkwan'd be happy he told him. everything would be fine, wouldn't it?

seungkwan gazed at him expectantly. oh, how could hansol _not_ be in love with someone so beautiful?

 

"look, i - i don't know how to say this... but i'll just say it. you see, i'm," he took a deep breath and paused to regain some composure, "i'm gay, boo."

 

seungkwan stared at him for a long time. he didn't say anything.

 

"boo?"

 

hansol thought — he _thought_ — he saw the smallest of one of seungkwan's classic warm smiles. he seized what he saw.

hansol stood slowly. he took seungkwan's face in his hands, gazing into his wide eyes, and gently pressed their lips together. hansol was in complete ecstasy.

then he fell from his high.

the older of the two shoved hansol away harder and angrier and more disgusted than he'd ever seen his friend, a look of pure hatred twisted onto such a soft and loving face. hansol's hat fell off and seungkwan (unintentionally?) stomped on it as he backed hansol into the corner of the room.

 

 _"you're a disgusting piece of shit, you gross_ thing _! i always knew there was something weird about you; i just didn't act on it. but i should've!"_ seungkwan growled, a hostile fire in his eyes.

 

hansol couldn't breathe for a minute. his eyes were huge and every hair on his body stood straight up.

 

he blubbered, "i - i - i've been in love with you since eighth grade, i'm sorry, i needed to kiss you just _once_ , i'm sorry, boo, i'm - i'm sorry!"

 

"don't call me that! you don't deserve to. you _repulse_ me," the other said with such finality in his tone that hansol knew nothing could ever fix this.

 

"i'm sorry," he barely whispered.

 

seungkwan used a firm hand and slapped hansol right across his left cheek. it'd leave a mark for sure.

hansol now couldn't contain his sobs very well.

 

seungkwan just glared at him. "do the others know? about your... issue?"

 

hansol gulped. "chan, soonyoung, joshua, jeonghan, and seungcheol."

 

"the rest?"

 

"they're not here."

 

"you only exposed your true, vile self because you knew we probably wouldn't see each other during college. is that why you took your gap year? to make it a," seungkwan's face distorted in disgust, "gay year?"

 

"not the words i would've gone with, but - but yes," hansol sighed shakily. he took a quivering hand and wiped his eyes.

 

"get out of my good christian home, hansol vernon chwe," seungkwan literally spat at him. his name from the older's mouth sounded like a teacher when a whole class fails a test: disappointed, disgusted, and done.

 

seungkwan kicked hansol's hat at him as he scurried and stumbled out his door, trying not to let out his sobs before leaving. seungkwan's mom saw him sprinting out, and called after him, but he dropped his hat trying to open the door and ran out as fast as he possibly could.

his luck was proving to be amazing. it was storming outside. he didn't have his umbrella and had walked to seungkwan's from joshua's house.

hansol didn't want to be with anyone. he wanted to see no one except seungkwan, and that bridge was clearly burned.

so he walked. he walked past joshua's, past jihoon's studio, past the 7/11 he would normally have stopped at. he didn't know where he was walking until he got there.

he arrived at sunset, clothes soaked and body shivering. hansol dropped himself onto the ground and watched the moon rise. he was surrounded by wildflowers and tall grass. this was his spot.

or, what used to be his and seungkwan's spot. they'd had so many late-night picnics here. they'd even brought some of seungkwan's parents' hard liquor to this place and spent the whole night passing the bottle and laughing about random things. the nights they had spent drunk just sitting and talking in the meadow were fuzzy to him, but he was sure they were wonderful times.

he cried for hours. he ignored his mom's and his sister's constant calls. he sat through the storm and stayed in his spot until the sun shone bright once again.

he picked a flower.

 

"he loves me, he loves me not... he loves me, he loves me not..." hansol sobbed as quietly as he could, picking off flower petals one by one.

 

the last petal soon stood alone. hansol slowly tore it off its base with a sad breath.

 

he whispered, feeling his heart break, "he loves me not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry seungkwan :-(


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was yelled at because josh, soonyoung, and chan aren't in act 1 so... here's act 2.

_act 2_

 

_scene: a starbucks in new york city, two years later_

_characters in order of appearance: hansol vernon chwe, lee chan, kwon soonyoung, joshua hong_

 

 

hansol studied the people around him and took a sip of his black coffee. it had no sugar, no sweet flavor, just what he lacked two years before. now, he was in a happy relationship with none other than joshua hong, who had been there for him through all the important people in his life who dumped him for something he couldn't change about himself, from seungkwan to, most recently, his grandparents.

(his mom, dad and sister were so supportive of hansol, that they signed him up for a gay dating app without his knowledge... he did meet some really sweet guys off of it, but he didn't tell them!)

when hansol's grandparents did almost exactly what his former best friend did, his direct family immediately (give or take a few weeks) moved out of hansol's childhood town, leaving behind everyone who shook their heads towards the chwe family.

now, he was in new york city, going to the college of his dreams, dating a wonderful, accepting, beautiful boy, and writing so often his wrists hurt at the slightest movement — which probably wasn't good, but he was happy. happier, at least.

he was even writing as he sat in the overcrowded starbucks near gershwin theatre, where he'd just seen and written a report on the musical "wicked." he observed and scribbled vague sketches of the people around him, making up backstories for them in his head and smiling a little when he thought of something silly. he was always at peace when he was writing, and nothing could take him out of the world he had in his head just for when he was inspired… except maybe his friends.

 

"sollieeeeeee!" soonyoung chirped, hugging hansol from behind. he grabbed a chair and sat next to him at the obnoxiously tiny table. 

 

hansol sighed with a slight smile and put his pencil and notebook away in his bag. he said, "hi, soonyoung. where's chan?"

 

"chan's getting drinks for us," soonyoung grinned, blushing a bit and gazing at chan from across the place.

 

hansol rolled his eyes. chan and soonyoung were hard to describe from their point of view, but to anyone who had eyes, they were very obviously crushing on each other. hansol and joshua had seen them kissing and doing very non-platonic things many times, and they had a bet going on whether or not they’d finally ‘fess up to each other and date.

hansol was losing as the days filled with cute, lovey-dovey “soonchan” moments. soonchan was josh’s nickname for the pair.

 

chan skipped up with just one drink, causing soonyoung’s breath to hitch and his brows to furrow slightly. “why’d you only get one?”

 

“i only have — _had_ $4.50 on me, and i didn’t wanna use my card, so you’re sharing with me,” chan declared with a smug smile.

 

soonyoung’s cheeks flushed a bit, but he relaxed as chan pulled two straws out of his pocket. hansol took one, claiming he needed it for his coffee so he could write and drink, mentally reminding himself to work on his report later. chan sat and fist-bumped hansol like the macho bro he wished he was.

 

“how’s the report going, hyung?” chan asked.

  
“it’s going. thanks for asking, channo,” sol smiled. he bounced his leg as soonyoung and chan started talking. 

 

hansol glanced at his watch. 4:52. josh was supposed to meet them at the crowded starbucks at 4:45. he knew it wasn’t that big of a deal — after all, new york city was a very busy place — but his train of thought still traveled to the worst case scenario.

 

what if he got hit by a crazy taxi driver? or he was on a booty call with someone else? what if he was on a booty call with… _seungkwan_?

 

hansol choked a little on his coffee. chan patted him on the back and went back to his conversation on pigeons with soonyoung. then, joshua walked in. hansol let out an audible sigh and relaxed.

josh smiled and waved at soonyoung and chan, then kissed hansol’s cheek and sat down next to him, snaking his arm around his shoulders.

 

soonyoung and chan continued on their increasingly heated conversation about pigeons, hand motions and all, until soonyoung grabbed chan’s cheeks and pulled their faces together, then said, “be my boyfriend, lee chan, you weird, pigeon loving angel.”

 

chan grinned, eyes twinkling, and nodded, then kissed soonyoung.

 

at this point, joshua had yelled out “hansol vernon chwe owes me $50!” seven or eight times. hansol begrudgingly pulled out his wallet and handed his happy boyfriend the money.

 

josh, still beaming from winning the bet, asked, “so, how was your day, honey?"

 

“it was pretty cool. wicked was amazing, i got to meet some of the cast members! i asked elphaba — rachel tucker, i think? — to say hi to you in a video, ‘cause i know you love wicked,” hansol pulled out his phone and showed him the video. “how was your day?”

 

joshua hugged his hansol, muttering thank-you’s into his neck. “my day wasn’t very special, although i did stop by a few places for a present for you. there’s new flowers in the vase at home,” he said. “but, uh, can i ask you something?”

once again, hansol became anxious, which josh clearly sensed. (“nothing bad, i promise!”) hansol didn’t notice, but soonyoung and chan were recording josh and hansol.

joshua asked what he needed to ask, and hansol smiled from ear to ear, a bigger smile than he’d formed in nearly three years, hugging his lover and kissing him repeatedly on his neck, his cheeks, his lips.

 

then joshua pulled out a single rose from his bag. it was beautiful and elegant, not a flaw to be spotted. he handed it to hansol. “i love you, you know.”

 

hansol took the rose, close to crying happy tears, and saw that a petal fell during the handoff of the flower. 

 

he mumbled to himself, “he _loves_ me.”


End file.
